Sunday, 26 April 2015

Pic of the week: #36

This week was quite a biggie for Joseph and I as it was my last week of maternity leave and Joseph's settling-in week at nursery. The feelings, emotions and thoughts that have come with Joseph turning one and the end of 'our' era have been so overwhelming, and at times has been gut-wrenchingly painful for me - as dramatic as that sounds. It's been hard to describe how I've been feeling lately, really since our trip to India - or perhaps even before as I was so anxious about going - I've been in somewhat of a funk but I'm taking steps to lift it.
Going back to work tomorrow after over a year off feels surreal, and the thought of leaving Joseph in nursery after how his settling sessions went is, well, unsettling to say the least.  I really didn't expect Joseph to have an issue with going to nursery. I suppose I'd heard all these great things about mums whose babies go in and love it- they have so many toys, get to make all the mess they want to and they cry when it's time to leave- but I guess I'd not really heard about the settling pain for the child, only the tears from the mum leaving their baby with relative strangers for the first time.

His settle sessions went like this:
Monday - 1 hour with me in the room.
Tuesday - 1 hour without me.
Wednesday - 2 hours without me.
Thursday - 2.5 hours without me.
Monday and Tuesday were fine - I spied him from a distance on the Tuesday as the nursery had been visited by a fire engine and they took a photo of him sat inside it, which was so sweet! On the Wednesday I just left him and didn't think anything of it - I had a couple of errands to run and a meeting with my manager - so when I collected him and they told me he'd been upset, I was really surprised. The Thursday session was an extra session because Wednesday had gone badly, and it was just awful. I waited in the corridor and was eventually called in because he was so upset. I tried to leave the room a couple of times once he was distracted but he'd just wail again. At tea-time he was crying into his plate of food. It was heartbreaking. We almost had another session on the Friday but I thought it best to give him a break, especially as it's not helped that this week Joseph was given antibiotics for a chest infection (not contagious and was given the ok to go to nursery) and is cutting at least two teeth (one molar) from what I can see. Not a happy bunny, at all.
Despite the tears, from both of us this week, the highlights have been seeing Joseph whizz off with the Brio Toddler Wobbler he got for his birthday in his wee pair of Clark's and seeing him use a sippy cup on his own. I don't know if he's late doing that - probably, and probably my fault for not encouraging it more - but seeing him shovel food down (and all around) his mouth with one hand whilst holding onto and swigging from his cup from the other has brought me silly amounts of joy. Oh, and the naps he's taken on me; Three long ones this week. Normally I'd feel frustrated at not being able to do x, y or z, but this week I have enjoyed every minute of them, even whilst desperate for the loo, running late or burning food in the oven.

So next week I'll be reporting how my first week back at work went and how our first week of shared childcare went.

I hope you had a good week and wishing you the best for the week coming. xx
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Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. It really means a lot! Nicki x

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