Monday, 6 February 2017

Back on the changing mat

Hi! I'm here. It's been ages huh?

I don't want to spend hours explaining away why I took such a long break from blogging, but, the short of it is that it made me feel sad and inadequate but, equally, not blogging has made me feel sad too. I regret that there's now over a year-long gap in my documenting of our memories and, although I feel vulnerable and intimidated at the prospect of bringing the blog back to life, there's a huge part of me that has been longing to write for a little while now.

Not wanting this to sound like a confession but, since the last time I blogged, we have moved back into our own home after the six month process of extending our bungalow into a four-bedroom house, having lived with Ruari's parents for the duration. Joseph has been in full-on terrible two's-mode for around 90% 50% of the time, but he makes us laugh and want to smother him with kisses every darn day despite this. His favourite things include: anything to do with dinosaurs, calling me 'mother', sucking his thumb whilst twiddling the label of his multi-coloured blanket (still), watching Paw Patrol (amongst loads of other drivel on Netflix), eating raisins and making us read 7,389 books to him before bed.

I'm sure there were a million other mini life-events in '16 that I am skipping over here, but the big news is that we are expecting another baby boy in April 2017!

There will be three years between the boys, bar a week, if he - name TBC - arrives on his due date and, in fact, he has the same due date that Joseph had except Joseph was a week early. Freaky, huh. [cue the 'you only have sex once a year' jokes... although actually that isn't a million miles away from the truth!].

I cannot wait to meet him, though I am simultaneously terrified of both the labour and what life is going to be like with two kids. Millions of people do it, though, and I've been told that three years is a nice age gap as the older one can help out a little bit. I do feel a bit more at peace at being able to cope with a newborn compared with how I was with Joseph, but I'm really not sure how I'll cope with the toddler and his incessant demands and whinging. I think it's largely to do with hormones, but I've definitely been losing my rag a bit lately and it's a level frustration and emotion that I don't remember getting to me quite so acutely since I was in the midst of a depressive phase in the year after I had Joseph. I sort of suspect I might be experiencing a bit of pre-natal depression, and having come off Fluoxetine abruptly rather than tapering off when I found out I was pregnant possibly didn't help.

Anywho... TLDR?

I just wanted to write a little one to say:
1. It's been a really long time since I last wrote and that really sucks.
2. I am making a commitment to writing regularly from now on.
3. I'm pregnant and really hormonal / emotional.

Thank you to anyone who may be reading this that used to follow the blog; I hope you'll stick around. Hello to any new faces - thank you for stopping by. I'm working on a posting schedule to help me keep on track this time and I'm looking forward to sharing again.

Nicki x

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Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. It really means a lot! Nicki x