Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Five things I love about being alone

Open. (Bear with me)...

1. I can watch whatever I like on TV. On Monday it was this TED talk play list 'for when you're expecting a child'. Joseph would never let me watch that without throwing a fit.

2. I can use my computer. Joseph seems pretty convinced that my computer belongs to him, and if it's out it means he gets to dictate what's on the screen. Usually Paw Patrol. It's no accident that my blog's resuscitation has coincided with my having more time alone and having not spent a full day at work in front of a computer. Hopefully I'll manage to keep it up when baby arrives, and beyond, and it's felt good to get some thoughts written down.

3. I can eat whatever I like. This can be bad. Like yesterday, I ate the last slice of brownie I'd made along with 3 helpings of ice cream. Umm. But, I mean, I don't have to sneakily eat biscuits and pretend that they're carrot sticks, giving myself heartburn in the process. Or, worse, ration myself to one.

4. I can go out whenever I want, wherever I want. Ok so yesterday I only went to Mothercare, the Post Office and the doctors surgery (to pick up my saviour, Gaviscon) but I didn't have to worry about anyone falling asleep in the car and being stuck in a car park anywhere. The world was my oyster for a day.... and I chose to potter about within a five mile radius of home. Wild.

5. I notice little things. Like did you know that Dandelions and Daisies close up at night? Neither did I. (I actually need to thank Joseph for pointing that out to me as he asked where his yellow flowers had gone, when we'd seen them open the day before). Lo and behold, after some Googling, I learnt that they do indeed close up at night or when it's a bit of a shite day. Also, did you know that the Morrison's carpark in Canterbury is filled with blossom trees? Well, trust me, it is.

and

6. I miss Joseph. I've mentioned this a few times recently, but his tantrums really affect me. They leave me me feeling totally depleted and all I want to do is sleep. So when he's away for the day, at nursery or with Granny, it gives me time to recharge and face the bed time battle. 

This probably makes me sound like an awful mother. But I've always been someone who likes time alone, even before Joseph came along. With my thoughts (though they can sometimes be unhelpful) and in my own little world. I am grateful to already be on maternity leave, to have some time to just 'be' and prepare for the time that's to come. I know this won't last forever seeing as I'm four weeks away from popping, but I hope I'll still be able to find some me-time, or learn to find some inner peace and outer calm despite having my hands full.

How do you spend your alone time? Do you even get any? Are those that never get respite hating on me right now?! x

See? Closed.
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Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave a comment. It really means a lot! Nicki x

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